Occasionally I enjoy sharing personal stories on my website. And this post I’m happy to say is an exciting one! You may be wondering what this title is about and how a Bride’s Reference Book has anything to do with my typical family genealogy themed blog posts.

Well, it’s because I’M ENGAGED to my fiancé Greg! It’s been a long time coming, 8 years in the making. He proposed in March at the arboretum garden in our area.

We got to listen to the fascinating sound of many frogs chirping in the pond nearby. Before we left I jokingly said to the frogs, “Thank you for joining us on this momentous occasion.” LOL

So because I am me, of course I have to find a way to tie this back to family history! While celebrating this exciting phase of life.

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Becoming the Bride

For many women, we hope and dream of finding our special partner to enjoy the rest of our days with. We see it happen for so many others. Friends, family, tv, movies, books, etc.

We think about what the moment might be like when we become engaged, and how to start planning for a wedding.

But how many of us really think about the After. After the initial excitement, after all the planning, and after the wedding is done.

When do you begin to think about what it means to be a bride and wife to your spouse?

The Bride’s Reference Book

Last summer, a few months after my grandfather passed, my mom, sister, and I began cleaning out the cellar of my grandparent’s home. My grandpa was the owner of many, many books. I’m talking probably 1,000 at least.

I was pleasantly surprised by a book I found that clearly belonged to my grandmother. The cover design, font, and title captured my attention immediately, so I took it home with me.

I even brought it along on a summer vacation to visit my great-aunt (my grandma’s sister.)

A Guide for Young Marrieds

The 300+ page, blue covered book was titled “The Bride’s Reference Book, a Guide for Young Marrieds” by the editors of Bride’s Magazine and copyright dated year 1956.

On the bottom there is a square box listing, Seven How-to Books in One:

• How to Plan your Home
• How to Buy Wisely
• How to Keep House
• How to Be a Good Cook
• How to Be a Perfect Hostess
• Lovely is as Lovely Does
• The Most Important Career

All of these sections completely intrigued me, and so I began looking through it.

Each chapter focuses on an area of taking care of general life, home, and partner responsibilities.

Little Household Tips

My fiancé and I have lived together for 3 years now and he can attest to the fact that I am certainly not a good cook! So I really need to read up on those sections!

I will admit I have not completed The Bride’s Reference Book yet but I hope to do so this summer. I tend to read the most when sitting outside in nature.

Even though the content is quite old, I do think there is some value in some of the chapters.

For almost a year now, I “air out” our bedsheets by folding down the comforter for some time before making it all back up again. I never thought about doing that before!

I found the chapters on clothing materials, sewing, stain remover tips, and how to lay out the flow of your furniture and home decorations so interesting.

You never learn certain household duties until the moment strikes. And sometimes we all need a simple guide to show us the way.

Sure there is google now-a-days but you can’t always search what you don’t know in the first place.

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Bridal Differences

But at the same time I truly laughed at some of the pages. With the overwhelming contrast in the world from 60+years ago to now for “responsibilities” between husband and wife.

There are also tips and tricks, and how-to guides for projects and tasks that women in the 21st century will probably never do.

As I would read, I’d jokingly share a paragraph or two with Greg sometimes.

Apparently I’m a bad partner as I don’t cook several meals each day for my significant other and prepare dinner for the moment he walks through the door. I am also practically an old maid for being 30 years old and not yet married and baring children. (insert hint of sarcasm here LOL)

Modern Bride & Groom

Please know I am not judging or mocking The Bride’s Reference Book.

Reading the chapters I have gotten to so far has actually been quite fun. I sometimes wonder what my grandmother thought when she was reading it years ago and what it may have taught her.

And I think it was probably a very helpful resource for that time period, and I honestly believe it does still hold value today.

I think the struggles of “adulting” in 2023 are simply different. Some are the same and some are not.

Greg and I don’t worry about where to buy furniture or what material our shirts are made out of.

But we do still learn how to cook and clean things properly, and how to balance both being out of the house and working 40 hours a week. While also spending quality time focused on our relationship.

While I would love to be able to be home 24/7 and take care of everything in our apartment for the both of us. It is not financially realistic and I think it is very important to each have “our own lives” to go out into the community for our jobs and other interests.

Yes we certainly rely on each other for different things but we are not solely dependent on the other to fulfill all our needs, if that makes sense.

We work as a team. Like I often share with friends, he cooks – I clean and grocery shop. Balance!

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Conclusion

So anyway, with all that being said. If you are a modern bride or have a daughter, sister, or friend that is getting married and can find a copy of this book, I think it is worth the read.

I couldn’t seem to find any copies on amazon to link but there are versions on Ebay.

But you may find it for free by asking a loved one if they ever owned a copy of the book. Chances are it was a part of an important milestone in their life.

So it is probably saved somewhere special.

Just take all of the information in, with a grain of salt as they say.

Happy reading! And I look forward to sharing more personal blog articles during this exciting journey!

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